I would talk to you but....

So if any of you are following the insanity that I call LIFE...

And even if you aren't, I feel the need to document it anyway.

Someday there will be a story,

Someday, maybe the government will pay for a study.

Heck, someday it just might be my eulogy.

I hope that you all get a laugh.

Shawnee and Brian wanted to go to the hospital today.

I wanted to keep Gracelyn.

John likens her to taking care of a goldfish.

He has the boys pegged as Rottweilers.

That should tell you how easy today was going to be.

UNTIL. THE. CALL.

Jenn is also going to the hospital with her Mom and the boys WANT to go to church.

In my corner of the world, when little boys WANT to go to church, you would move mountains to get them there.

John also wants to go to the hospital. 

That leaves me with three finger pinching car seats squeezed into the back seat of my cute little Equinox.

I pick up the boys, I drive to meet Shawnee at our halfway point and I get Gracelyn.

I get to church...way too early.  The three of them sit like little angels and whisper until the big hand is on the six at which point Tyler announces,

"THE BIG HAND IS ON THE SIX!!"

And the three of them scatter like cockroaches at midnight when you turn the overhead light on.

(Not that I ever had those in MY house, but I have seen them in a southern relative's house that shall remain nameless until I get an anonymous blog)

I quickly try to decide which one to chase and my decision is made when I see the 4 foot by 6 foot laminated missionary map of the globe come tumbling off the wall.

As people start arriving, I hear them asking me about Dianna, about Wyatt, about church stuff and about life in general and I hear myself saying,

I would talk to you but, I have to take off my shoes and climb up on this pew to tack this map back up.

I would talk to you but I have to throw away the half chewed gum that Gracelyn has just spit back into my hand.

I would talk to you but, no wait Tyler and Logan you cannot go to Children's Church until the big hand is between 8 and 9.

I would talk to you but...wait Tyler the greeter today does not need your help.

I would talk to you but....BOYS, SHUT THE DOOR TO THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU ARE PEEING!

I would talk to you but, Boys did you flush that commode?

I would talk to you but...wait one of them is missing I think...ONE, TWO...yes one of them is missing.

I would talk to you but...LOGAN ARE YOU DEAF?  DO I HAVE TO USE THE MEANIE GRANDMA VOICE!!!!??

(That one actually got about five kids to stop in their tracks.)

I would talk to you but...wait here take this one and hold her until I find the other two.

I would talk to you but if I don't duck out of this nursery fast, that one is going to scream and hang on my leg...and that is fine but I really need the hour break that I am about to get in church.

I sang louder and listened better than ever.  I know it is supposed to be worship, but just for today, I called it a

BREAK!!!!

The true meaning of

Come all of you weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest.