The Cameras Should Be Rolling...

We really could have a better show than the Kardashians.
Oh, of course we are not as beautiful or glamorous,
and we sure don't have that kind of money,
(or much of any right now actually)
but there sure is a lot of activity.

Of course, I had to put a picture in of something creative.
This was actually all I got finished this week.
More on that later.
So,
Back to yesterday.
I knew it had the potential to not go smooth.
Too many variables,
too close of scheduling.
Up at 5:00 AM.
Make the coffee,
a little devotional,
a little prayer,
(that probably was the key to it not going worse, or me remaining somewhat sane)
Out the door at 5:30 for the 3+ mile walk.
It is not light yet, we take flashlights.
How silly do we look?
Back in the house at 6:15,
Take JWS his coffee in bed.
(I do that EVERY morning {smug smile on my face})
Anyway,
Jump through the shower and "do" my hair, there won't be time for touch ups later, we have a dinner to go to and are leaving at 5:00 PM right when I finish work.
Drive to meeting place and pick up Kendall for the day at 7:10 AM.
Back to work,
Jenn arrives, Logan in tow.
Work,
Customers,
Matchbox cars all over the floor in my office,
Work,
"Jenn, get that sign cut."
Work
Trip over a pink fuzzy bear dressed like the Harlem Globe Trotters,
"Jenn, did you get that sign cut"
"Logan, turn down Mario, I have a customer."
"Kendall, don't write on your hands with that Sharpie!"
A visit from a friend I haven't seen in awhile.
SHE BRINGS ANOTHER BABY!
Anyone counting the children THREE and under?
"Jenn, that customer just called and wants his sign today."
When..
Logan, who has been quietly working on the keyboard of the computer,
(we noticed that in retrospect)
proudly holds up the down arrow key and announces,
"Grandma, I could not get Mario to go down far enough, so I pulled this off and now I can stick my finger in here and make him go down farther!!!"
Really.
I should own stock in keyboard and mouse companies.
I spend the next ten minutes trying to put the keyboard back together all the while explaining to a three year old why that really doesn't work, with a two year old in my lap.
Production?
"Jenn, did you get that sign cut yet"
Jenn: "No, I am leaving, I have a doctor's appointment.
Me: (looking incredulous) "NOT BEFORE YOU CUT THAT SIGN!"
She did.
 She takes Logan.
The count is back to one child.
For twenty minutes.
That is when the kindergarten bus pulls in and leaves Tyler off.
How bad is it when you think the twenty minutes that you only have a two year old at work with you is the quiet part of your day?

The usual,
How was your day, did you get in trouble today, let's look at your papers, and Oh you got your report card, that's good and
we settle back into a routine for the day.

Did I mention that I went through the car wash in the AM, because we are taking my car to the dinner tonight?
Kendall, who supposedly likes the car wash, cried the whole way through it.

Lunch in, settled into my desk, actually somewhat productive,
Papa says,
"Tyler, Kendall has never been to the Bent and Dent, I'll bet Grandma would take you there"
A statement that I won't forget and I will get even.
Did I mention that I take this man coffee in bed in the morning?
Now Tyler in his slightly OCD way is repeating that over and over
"Grandma, Kendall has never been to the Bent and Dent, if you take us, this will be her FIRST time at the Bent and Dent."
AT LEAST TWENTY TIMES.
I swear they should get him checked.
I know that there is a label for that child.

The Bent and Dent is on a dirt road.
Car wash in the AM.
Crying Two Year old.
He will pay!

So,
I load them in the car and off we go.
Oranges
Borax
(for the ants)
Strawberry Daiquiri Jello
Sugar
About 40 packs of gum
Fruit roll-ups
Hairspray
Ajax
A drink box
Sugar free candy for Nana

And we are out of there.

Getting tired of this story?
There's lots more.

I get Kendall down for her nap.
Finally.

I move my car to wash it....again!
Tyler wants to help.
Seriously, I underestimated what a disaster that had the potential to become.
Let's just say that the hair that I so carefully coifed for the day, was going to need re-coifed before we left for the dinner.

Skip forward.
It is 4:15 and both children have been picked up by their respective mothers.
Tyler THOUGHT he was going to spend the rest of the day and evening with us.
NOT!

John goes home, showers, ready for the evening.
4:35.
I try to salvage the hairdo for the evening, change, out the door at 5:05 PM.
Twelve hours.
It has been twelve hours since that alarm went off.

Deep Breath.
Calm.
Calm.
Nice evening with friends.
However.
It is a Zone One Fair Meeting at Scrubgrass Grange.
This is real, can't make this stuff up folks.
One half hour into the one hour, ten minute trip, I say to JWS,
"You did pick up the Mapquest directions that you demanded I get for you in the middle of all the chaos of the day?"

Anyone want to take a guess at that answer?
Again,
I
Bring
this
man
coffee
in
bed!

Thank goodness for smart phones and GPS Apps.
Took us right to Scrubgrass.
Well, almost.

Ok, so I really want an anonymous blog...or a chance to write a novel..
so considering that is not happening, you are going to miss out on
a lot of the descriptive details that otherwise might be included in the account
of the
Zone One Fair Meeting at Scrubgrass Grange.

and
the subculture involved in county fair managers.
However,
I will tell you that it was a great meal.
Country Home Cooking served by Grange members,
dressed in red, white and blue.
It could have been a picture out of a country life magazine.
Not the decorating magazines,
true old-fashioned country life.

Some talks on agriculture,
the rules of the baking contests,
startled gasps when they realized that they caught a woman entering her apple pie
and winning at seven different fairs!
(We just wanted a taste of that apple pie)
Government regulations on smoking at county fairs.
Write to your senators about funding.
Rules for the fair queen contests....
I should have taken notes.

But,
The BEST story.
It seems that no matter where I go, I get the characters.
They tell me their stories.
The zero in on me.
Mostly men.
Mostly OLD men.
Why?
Wish I knew. 

So we sit down across from people we don't know. 
Nice people.
I talk.
and ask questions.
And visit.
and
as we are eating, I notice,
that the man across from me is picking his teeth with his fingernails, holding his finds out in front of him,
inspecting the bits of food,
and then re-eating them!
Honestly.
Where are the cameras?

As we get in the car to leave,
our friends that we are with are collapsing with laughter.
Apparently he was also double dipping in the cole slaw bowl and ate his entire meal with his spoon.
The same spoon that he kept scooping more cole slaw out of the bowl with.
The same cole slaw bowl that I dipped out of for my cole slaw!

12:30AM
Home. 

The coffee pot is still on! 

Today.
You might say rest. 
JWS just literally ran out the door five minutes ago. 
He has to open the Bingo Building at the fair for a Pie Sale today. 
Today is my day to drive to dialysis. 
I have no clean clothes. 
My good jeans are still drying out from the car washing yesterday. 
And. 
I am tired.  

I have an Art show to be ready for by the end of the month,
I have a magazine deadline at the end of the month,
I have my family here for Easter on Friday,
and
a jewelry party on the 26th.

Thank goodness for the new income tax deadline of Monday..
I will be taking advantage of that!

Comments

LibbiesHome said…
I have just officially added you to my prayer list! Your accounts of your daily life amaze me - and often make me feel a little lazy to be truthful.
I can so relate to the issue of collecting characters where ever I go, but honestly the tooth picker is one of the best/grossest I think...
Hoping for a nice weekend for you.
Melissa
I woke up very tired this morning...still groggy - even drinking coffee and that isn't helping...AND AFTER READING YOUR POST HERE...I'M EVEN MORE TIRED...
What you put into one day is 3 days for me and I think I'm a busy lady.

But the wonderful way of writing and the humor you include is awesome.

If you don't write a book about your musings I will be disappointed...it would be a big seller.

Again another wonderful way to start my day - yours is the first one I go to when I log on.

Oh ick to the man picking his teeth and double dipping...I could just see him an my tummy rocked and rolled...lol

Have a great and wonerful day!

Karen
Angela said…
Bless your heart dear. I would send you a hug but you must be too tired to embrace it. Life can be so hectic sometimes. And those little ones no matter how much we love them can be a handful. Always on days when we had hoped they could be an angel. At least your meal was good, until the old man ruined it for you. When I have days like this I have to stop and tell myself at least it was doing things that weren't too bad. Could have been sitting at ER with a loved one or myself, and just how much I have to be thankful for. Get your chores done today girl,and try to relax for the weekend. You deserve it. Thanks for sharing your story. You made me smile and we can all relate with you.
Sher said…
Well, I have only one thing to say and we say it a lot here in the south: Bless your heart. LOL!
Janice said…
PHEW!! Loved loved this story!! I have had MANY of those kind of days! The cameras should have been rolling!! Oh, and the guy picking his teeth and double dipping....GROSS! I am sorry you had to share with him (maybe some listerine? lol). You have a full life and it may be crazy, but it also seems like fun in a chaotic sort of way! I hope you reach all your deadlines without to many obstcales! =)

~Jan
NancyD said…
Whew, I'm tired already and haven't had my second cup of coffee yet! LOL My goodness, you have such a wonderful way of writing, laughed out loud!! :) Thank you for the jump start on my day, so glad that I didn't miss your post today! Ü I sure hope you get a little rest today... :)
Whew! I'm exhausted! I don't know how you do it.
What kind of vitamins do you take ~ I need some.
Hang in there, don't they say life gets better!
Prim Blessings
Robin
Wow Cath: I'm exhausted just reading this! You make me laugh though...how in the world did you get wet in the car wash?...the little ones opened the windows somehow?
Only you my friend!! :)

Hugs and Hopes for a better week!
patti
Eileen Bergen said…
The Kardashians?! This is way better than that.

You've just written a Seinfeld episode!!

And sense of humor intact, you boldly march on into another day. You're inspiring, as well as funny, Cathy.
Bev said…
Whew !!! made me tired alright, sure made me say thank you God that I am retirement age and enjoying it. You are one tuff cookie let me tell you and sure think a book is in need as not everyone reads your blog, grin. hang tight, breathe and remember life passes us way to fast even if we are busier than most. sending hugs and great wishes for that wonderful Art show you will have so many truly neat entries for.
Oh my Lord Cathy, you are hilarious! I couldn't believe it when you were describing your day with the kids and then said it was only LUNCH time!! Love, love, love your posts, please don't ever stop, and please go back to the Zone One Fair Meeting at Scrubgrass Grange real soon, I want to see what that "gentleman" will be doing next time you see him! Good luck with the deadlines and dare I say it, Happy Easter to you and yours! Deb