Friday, July 22, 2011

Snippets of the Week


This has been an ongoing project. 
The bench needed painted.
I had this idea to paint this old cooler for on it.
There is a similar one on my front porch.
It still needs a tag on it. 
Maybe tomorrow.
It's been a long week.

This is always one of our busiest weeks of the year.
Local festival.
Last minute shirts.
A few additional last minute jobs.
Resulting in lots of overtime.
Self employment overtime.
Not the kind that you get paid time and a half for.
The kind that people say
"Thanks for getting our stuff done so fast"
"The check will be in the mail [sometime]"
Anyway,

Added to that have been a few traumas.
As usual.
One is a little indelicate.
I'll wait until last for that one.
It may be a little offensive.
But I have to share.

We'll start with kid traumas.
If someone is going to get hurt, injured or sick,
it is going to be Logan.
That child has had more emergency trips in his short life than I can count.
Gasping for air, croupy emergency trips.
I have been on a few of them.
He has been hit in the head with golf balls and clubs.
Mostly at the hands of his brother.
Some documented, others not.
This week brought two more.

And the first is another "poop" story.
I have lots of them.
Funny ones, sometimes.

The boys love for me to tell poop stories.
They told their Nana the other day that they are allowed to say "poop"
because Grandma allows them and tells them poop stories.
Nana was less than happy.
She spells it for them.
They laugh and spell it back.
Poop
is a funny word for them.
They giggle. 
I love to hear them giggle.
I have warned them that it is not a church word.

But I digress.

Monday, I notice Logan grunting.
He has had issues in the past.
Tuesday, he is still grunting.
I explain enemas to Jenn,
She has given him prune juice and some medicine
I explain it all with an analogy of a drain clog.
You can keep putting stuff down the drain,
but sometimes you have to get in the trap
and remove the cloggage.
She cringes and says she is not going to do that.
I send her to the drugstore to get a product.
While she is gone, I explain to Logan what is going to happen.
Tyler is listening.
I tell Logan that while this is happening,
he can have my phone to play games on.
She gets back, she takes him home with my phone.
Tyler, who is still at work with us,
holds up his hand to Papa and I and says.
"I am not going home with them because I am NOT having any trouble pooping!!"
They finally come back.
Logan's eyes are watering.
His nose is running.
He says he feels better though.
And he says,
"Grandma, your phone really helped me with that."

Well, I said I was going to leave the indelicate one for last.
But I have to fit it in chronologically.

Wednesday.
Our sign boards get delivered. 
It is confusing and I don't get them put away right away.
You see,
they fit behind these two cabinets.
The cabinets are lower than waist high,
top of the leg high,
well to be blunt,
crotch high.
You pull them out a little, slide in 4 by 8 foot sign boards
and with a thigh push,
push the cabinets back together.
The cabinets are sort of angled out
and when you push them the angle closes.
I do it all the time.
How to word this.....
I have nothing dangling to get caught.
Getting the direction this is going?
JWS puts the sign boards away.
I am not paying attention.
I have a customer.
The customer leaves and through gritted teeth,
JWS says,
"couldyoupleasecomeinthebathroom?"
I follow him, thinking what could the issue possibly be
I have too much to do for his traumas
I know it's hot
so what if you are grumpy
blah blah blah
Until I see the blood.

Apparently when he pushed the cabinets back together "things" got caught.
Please notice I said, things, not thing.
And he is injured!
I muster as much sympathy as I could, but the giggles blew out my nose and I snorted.
I really did feel bad.
Why is it that sometimes other people's injuries bring on hilarity?
I could be tired.

And the third trauma.
The boys love the Bent and Dent.
It is an Amish store that carries cheap groceries.
Back a dirt road that they call the forest,
I bribe them with that outing
if they are good at work.
After JWS' trauma,
it was time for them to go home.
But before that, I have to make the Bent and Dent run.
They fill the basket with assorted juice boxes and other miscellaneous treats.
As I pay, they go out and run up and down the ramp on the porch.
It's tradition.
They do it every time.
I pay and don't even pick up my bag when I hear Logan scream.
This is a blood-curdling, I am hurt scream.
Not "my brother ran down the ramp first" scream.
Not even "my brother hit me in the head" scream.
He is standing at the bottom of the ramp with his hands to his face,
SCREAMING AND CRYING!
I grab him and start checking him.
Dog bite goes through my head immediately.
I am looking for blood.
Finally, I pull his hands away from his face.
I see it.
A bee sting!
A friend of mine happened to be in the store,
She is beside me with a first aid kit.
She is trying, but the boys have an unnatural fear of band-aids
and now on top of the pain screaming,
Logan is crying,
"Don't put a band-aid on me!"
Over and over.
Tyler comes out and screams at her in his protective brother voice,
that sounds more like
mouthy first grader voice,
"DON'T PUT A BAND-AID ON MY BROTHER!"
I give him the Meanie Grandma look and he pulls back.
The man that owns the Bent and Dent comes out and asks what I need.
I tell him that ice would be great, but I didn't think he would have any.
He runs to some little shed and gets me a chunk of ice.
Back at the shop,
Logan is asleep, Tyler is on the computer,
Mr. RK walks in.
Remember Mr Fair President and his wife that I taxied home a few weeks ago?
He is arranging meetings because he has to have eye surgery the next day.
We comment about how bad that would be?
The boys go home.
Poor Logan,
Poor Mr. RK.
Then JWS says,
Doesn't anyone care about MY injury?
Oops!
Forgot about that one!

And finally,
The Object Lesson of the Week.

(if you are still with me)

JWS thinks that he can keep everyone happy.
Not just family, friends, customers, etc.
Everybody in the world, apparently.
My thoughts are..
there are some people that you are never going to make happy
and
I am not going to waste time in my life trying.
Assess the situation and move on.

The discussion started after a 9:30 at night phone call from a woman whose cat was spotted across
from our house.
She wanted me to go and look for it.
I politely told her "No"
Kendall was sleeping upstairs and I was not leaving the house.
Good excuse, truth is, I would not have gone anyway.
Animal lovers out there, don't hate me.
It's 9:30 at night,
she does not work,
come and look for your own cat.
JWS got home from working all evening at the fairgrounds, after working all day at work,
in the heat,
and went to look for her cat.
Turns out, after he found it...
it wasn't her cat after all.
I explain to him that you can't be all things for all people.
The discussion gets a little heated.
I explain that you can't make everyone happy.
That there are priorities
and some person that you don't even know,
demanding you to go and look for their cat,
is not a priority in my life.
He thinks I am mean.
The next day,
I would make my point.
Kendall is up and playing,
JWS is ready for work.
I ask him to watch her for 10 minutes so that I can get a shower.
I run upstairs, jump in the shower,
What do I hear?
Mama, mama...
She is outside the shower door.
He is making himself breakfast.
Ten minutes.
It took way longer that that to look for the cat.
Priorities.

And then.
We have had a difficult customer the last couple of week.
Picking and fussing
and over thinking
and basically
a pain in the butt.
I have had hours on the phone with him.
Change this,
change that,
how about this, how about that.
Try this,
try that.
Not sure if I like that.
This color,
that color.
Blah
Blah
Blah.
Hours.
He calls,
He says it is an emergency.
First of all, there are no emergencies in the t-shirt business.
We are printing t-shirts here, we are not performing heart surgery!
I can't take it anymore.
I say,
"Ok, Mr. I Can Keep Everybody Happy,
let's see what you can do with this  one.
Because if I talk to him one more time,
I am going to come totally unglued.
(It's the heat)
He calls him back.
tadatadatada....
blahblahblah.
He gets off the phone.
I say, "Well?"
He says,
"He is not happy."
I rest my case.


For those of you who have managed to stay with me,
tomorrow is my last free Saturday for a month.
Top of the list.
Pictures of the giveaway groupings.
Thanks so much to everyone who stopped by and signed up.
I will be drawing the winners on Sunday!
Still time to sign up!




16 comments:

LibbiesHome said...

Oh Cathy! I don't know how you do it! I feel so guilty sometimes because I am laughing out loud at your posts which contain many unpleasant things for you. You could write a spin off of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" I think. So sorry about the various injuries - particularly the indelicate, but I would have laughed, too.
Thanks for sharing. Hope today is smooth and tomorrow is looonngg and lazy for you - you deserve it!
Melissa

Courtney said...

Well, I can see that with all that goes on over your way, you'll never be bored! LOL Boys are fun, aren't they? And you always know the "I'm really hurt" scream, don't you?
Stay cool!
Courtney

Sabrina @Falling Leaf Woodworkers and Primitives said...

oh my you sure have had a crazy week... I have to admit, is burst out lauhging at the hubby injury part... must have been the way you told the story...LOL
I hope your weekend is a bit less eventful.
Sabrina

Catherine said...

Oh my gosh!! The way you can spin a story!! I could so easily picture everything as it was happening!! I, like the first comment, know many of these things are unpleasant, but thanks for the chuckle to start my day!!

Connie said...

Oh boy, what a week! I got tired out just reading about it. Hope your weekend is better :) Love that water jug!

When you're retired and the Grandkids are older you'll probably look back on all of this and laugh your head off. Either that or you'll be busy playing with the Great Grandkids...LOL

Sheila said...

I admit it up front! I really look forward to your posts because I just never know what you will write about next! I knew as I read where some of it was going....sorry and don't tell JWS but I was uncontrollably LMAO because as you described the situation I knew what was going to happen-and you are right. Why is it we find such hilarity in others injuries?
AND that water cooler is AWESOME!!! My kind of design.
Have a great weekend Cathy. Do you have any Calgon? Sounds like you need it.

oldecrow said...

You just started my day off wonderfully! Nothing like a good laugh to get the day started1 Sorry to laugh at all your mishaps, but I couldn't help it! I love your posts.
Thanks,
Wanda

Angela said...

Cathy, girl you cease to amaze me. What a life you live. You should have all your post made into a blog book. They are wonderful as my daughter who blogs about her and Darbee Rae's life has them combined into a hard back book, and thus when Darbee is grown she will have the story of her life. You my friend could have yours published. You never fail to me make smile or LOL. (acciedent free) weekend.
Angela

Firecracker Kid said...

OMGosh! Never a dull moment...lol. Bless your heart. Only the strong survive, and what don't kill ya makes ya stronger;)
Love your makeovers!
Hugs~Carol

Jacqueline said...

You are a hoot.. I needed a good laugh and you certainly provided it.

As for your giveaway I would love to be entered.

Jleibfried@aol.com

NancyD said...

I have to admit I LOOK for your posts, you have such a way of writing and I love it! LOL You always have me laughing out loud!
Love your painted jug, it is incredible. :)
Have a great weekend!

jennifer768 said...

I am sorry but I must admit to having quite a chuckle over your post. Lord have mercy but you must have an incredible sense of strength. Carol is right what doesn't kill ya will make you stronger.

Love the cooler ,it is wonderful!May you have a peaceful weekend!Hugs,Jen

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

Oh my! What a week you had. I don't know how you do it. You should write a book and have it published. I'm serious. I bet it would be a #1 Best Seller. I enjoy reading your posts. You start my day off with a laugh and put a smile on my face. Thanks for sharing....

TheCrankyCrow said...

Ok, so JWS gave you his permission to blog about his hair color experiment...but does he know you shared THIS with us??!!! Woo Hoo!! I was snorting mid-way through that episode already...right about your description of how high those cabinets are....Oh my heck, Girl...you are shameless!! And I love your poop stories too - no one tells 'em any better....Enjoy your Saturday - hope you can at least get a nice long shower (alone)....And I WANT that cooler!! That is all kinds of awesome!! Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

Lois--Huckleberry Lady said...

Oh Cathy...what a week!!!! As stated before, why does someone else's injury bring on the laughing???? I am sooo guilty of that too!!!! Hope you have an enjoyable Sat, you sure do deserve it!!!

Lois

luv2teek said...

Hi Cathy,

The rest of us can read your posts and say, "Thank you, God, for my uneventful, ordinary day!"

Thanks for the smiles...Bev