Sunday, December 30, 2012

Who Told Them?

Weight Watchers
Prevention Magazine
Rodale Books
Alli
Biggest Loser
Runner's World
Abs Diet Online
Wellness Resourses
yes,
and they even told
Dr. Oz.

I want to know,
did someone send them a secret message?
Did they sign me up secretly?
Did they have an intervention that I missed?
Did they have secret meetings?

Who told all those people that I gained weight?
Because
they all know,
they are sending me messages hourly
telling me how to fix this.
For a minimal $29.95
and up
they will solve all of my weight issues.

It was a mere 10 months ago
(and 15 pounds ago)
that I reached
Lifetime Status
on Weight Watchers. 
How did this happen?

Oh, I tried to act like it wasn't happening,
summer came
and I wore stretchy capris,
fluffy tops
and
bigger earrings.
You do know that they say big earrings
take the emphasis off your hips.
I flouffed and fluffed my hair,
made sure that my face looked good
and
dug our those dangling sparkly earrings.

Then the weather cooled...
and I realized that those same jeans.
proudly purchased in the
glow of that
shiny, new
Weight Watchers Lifetime card
right next to the debit card in my wallet,
no longer fit.

NOT
EVEN
CLOSE!

So I pulled out the
"largest"
jeans in my closet
and wore them
and
hung them to dry
using the
"don't want to let them get short in the dryer"
excuse.
Fluffed the hair a little more
found those big hoop earrings
and
threw myself into
denial mode.

Then it happened,
you know
the catalyst
the
moment
when you can no longer deny it.

The Picture

Christmas Day
I was given a picture
Of JWS and I at a wedding.
The same wedding
that I could not fit into the
dress
that I bought for it
and
had to wear something stretchy
wedding.

And I realized
I am not just looking a little "healthy"
I am looking pretty pudgy.

Now,
the way I look at it
I have two choices,
1. Do something about it.
or
2. Find some hubcaps to use as earrings.

I think the picture hanging on the fridge
will be enough incentive!

7 comments:

moosecraft said...

Cute post! :-)

Karen said...

HOW FUN...I thoink we are all feeling this about now.
Goodness it is frustrating how fast the pounds come on and we don't even notice till they are there.
I love your story - thanks for sharing....lol
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Karen

Laurie said...

Oh My God! I have tears pouring down my face and my husband is looking at me like I've lost it! You are too hilarious Cathy! Hub caps for earrings, I can't take it!

Sheila said...

OMG Cathy you are too funny..........you are describing me to a T just didn't think about the larger earrings! It's sad when the sweat pants/stretchy pants are no longer loose fitting. I'm right there with ya girl.
Oh, and I've been getting those same emails too and I thought "ok, who's giving them my name?!" ;-)

BumbleBeeLane said...

Hmmm never thought about the earring trick.LoL..Warm Blessings!~Amy

Lois--Huckleberry Lady said...

Cathy, let me know how you do it...lose the weight. For me, other than stop eating, and that really hasn't worked too much, since I was sick, I don't feel like eating, but the weight still isn't coming off!!!!! I'm just living with it....I give up!!!!
I know, pics give you a real wake up call, so now I just stay out of them!!!
Lois

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

Another wonderful post Cathy! Thanks for the smile. I needed it!