Readers, Stay Free and a Cell Phone

What do all of these have in common?

all three passed though my life in a short half hour.

Well, not the SHORTEST half hour I ever spent exactly.
You see, it was time for my Mom and Dad's
cell phone to be upgraded.
They are on my plan,
we are not even going to go into
JWS changing the plan recently
and the bill that ensued.
is just too much for me to wrap my mind around
an experience not worth repeating
once you hear this story that I AM
you can only imagine how bad the
story actually is.

So, here we go.
Mom and Dad are here visiting Shawnee,
I think it is the perfect time to upgrade their cell phone.
I have errands to run so I have them meet me
at the Verizon store.
is the very nice employee there
is so kind and helpful...
I really liked her before yesterday,
I think I love her. 

We get the new and fancy phone out.
Oh My Gosh,
the keys are on the outside.
Not on the inside
how do you answer that?

After establishing the unreal phenomenon of pushing
to actually answer the phone,
we move on to the key unlock
silencing the phone for
church and doctor's appointments.
(I guess when you are 78 and 80,those are your chief social obligations.)
And by George,
I think they've got it!
(You could say that with a British accent if you would like)
And so,
on the second run through...
Eileen is being so patient...
I  say to Mom,
"Ok, point to the button that you use to answer the phone."
Fumbling, looking....

"Mom, it is SEND!!!!"

Mom says, "I know that but I can't see it."


Now for the conversation from there.

Me: Why can't you see?  Where are your glasses?
Mom: They don't work since I had my cataract surgery
Me: When do you go back for glasses?
Mom: One month
Me: Why don't you buy a pair of readers?
Mom: Because the doctor didn't tell me to.
Me: Maybe the doctor just thought you would figure that out,
or maybe he just won't tell you to do that but you have to be able to read or see up close for that month we are going to Walmart to buy you glasses, it is right next door.
Mom: But the doctor....
Me:  Everyone has have to get a pair.
Mom: I tried your Dad's they don't work
Eileen: My mom has a pair to match every outfit....
(See why I love her)
off we go to Walmart.
We find the glasses, we test her eyes,
which involves an explanation
of how to wear them after she puts them on
like regular glasses and can't see the signs...
We find a pair that we think will work and she puts them on...
and just to make sure
I grab the first thing at my fingertips that will have print on it...
and that, folks,  is how we ended up standing in Walmart
on a Wednesday afternoon
a package of
Stay Free Mini Pads.


Danice said…
How cool! So glad you solved the cell phone and glasses issues. Thanks for sharing with us :)
Ann said…
I'm seriously laughing here. What a great story.
acorn hollow said…
ha ha ha ha!
Sheila said…
If you could only hear me laughing.......and perhaps needing a pair of DEPENDS!
Cathy you are to much. Bless your folks for using cells at their ages. My MIL had one for a brief time....we couldn't convince her to take it with her, she would leave it home and boy did it cause aggravation for all of us, of course this was over a year ago when she was still driving at 87. She insisted on having it but never remembered it then got upset because no one called her.......a ya we did!!!
Oh my Goodness, Cathy!
This post made my day! I sure needed to laugh and you can always put a smile on my face! Thank You!
Glad to hear about your folks and the cell phones.
Working at the nursing home, I see more and more elderly residents with cell phones. I am proud that these 70, 80 and a few 90 year olds have cell phones and I tell you, I think most of them can work them better than I can. There's even a few that have IPads.
Enjoy the rest of your day. Take Care! Sandi
Susannah said…
Hilarious!!!!! Made my day!
hahahahaha, that's too cute Cathy. Love your story.

Laurie said…
Oh Cathy you just crack me up! LOVE your funny escapades! Glad your Mom found a pair that works, did you buy the pads? ;)