Shoe Snob? Not Me!

Absolutely not!

Some of the best wearing shoes

and

most comfortable

shoes

that I have owned

have

been purchased

at

thrift stores

or

handed down from my kids.

 

That being said,

there are two types of shoes

that I am picky about.

Athletic shoes

(JWS informed me that I was no longer allowed to refer to them as "tennis" shoes)

(he also informed me that I really didn't qualify to call them "running" shoes)

(I know that I am stretching it calling them "athletic" shoes)

("Old lady, trying to work off winter fat" shoes, just is too bulky to say)

and

Winter Boots

(we will leave those for another post...like maybe October)

The pair pictured above are way past their prime.

The are actually smooth on the bottom.

Believe it or not,

they have over the recommended

500 miles on them. 

I have been procrastinating the purchase of a new pair.

The chore of shopping for them

causes nothing short of

a series of incidents

that could possibly require

mood-altering pharmaceuticals...

or a trip to the liquor store.

Really folks, it is that bad!

 

First of all, 

if I never had to go in another mall for the rest of my life,

life would be complete.

I almost managed to Christmas shop last year

without stepping in a mall.

 

Finish Line...Mall.

Foot Locker....Mall. 

 

So, as luck would have it,

I found myself on a city street,

after a doctor's appointment

and

a very nice dinner with a friend that I have not seen in

a very long time,

looking at a specialty shoe shop that was open.

 

Why not?

The day had gone well, surely it could continue.

 

So, in I walk.

Immediately, I knew that I was not drugged

prepared for this.

 

I was met by an onslaught of colors.

Athletic shoes in every color imaginable,

some that required sunglasses to even look at them,

and

clothing.

Skimpy little running gear in every bright color.

 

Two clerks

with BMI's that are on the opposite ends of the chart

from mine,

one helping a man find socks to help

him after he bikes for 20 miles

because his calves start to hurt at that point.

Really?

First of all, "athletic" socks should be purchased

cellophane wrapped

in 6 packs at the flea market.

I really did not know that there were ones that made your

calves feel better after 20 miles on a bike.

Maybe there are ones that would

 "make my feet feel better

mid afternoon when I hobble getting up from

my desk for my afternoon cup of coffee

so that I can remain awake for the rest of the day"

socks?

 

I could not ask the nice young man that.

 

I say,

"I need a pair of shoes."

(not running, not tennis, not "I have to get this 20 pounds off")

just shoes.

 

He kindly asks what I have now.

I think he fully expects me to say "Keds"

Oh, wait, he is not old enough to know what those are.

 

And then...Horror!

He tells me that they watch you walk there and try to fit the shoe to your walk.

Now, you might say,

"What service!"

Until....

he tells me to roll up my jeans so that he can watch my feet

as I walk.

I sit on the wood bench,

slip off my $4 Goodwill find loafers,

bend in the middle,

after a

bacon cheese chicken sandwich and Parmesan french fries

and

large lemonade,

hoping that I don't fart,

huffing and puffing to reach my feet,

start to roll up my pant legs and simultaneously pull up my black socks

all the while calculating the last time

I shaved my legs.

 

Multitasking at it's finest.

 

And then I walk.

I know that he is thinking,

"When is this old lady going to start this walking program?"

and

"Does she have the permission from her doctor to exercise?"

but he kindly finds me three pairs of shoes to try.

 

None feel good. 

I have high arches.

My feet have a delicate curve to them.

Hey, it's the only delicate curve left on my body.

And it is causing me problems.

 

And honestly.

 

If you are going to pay $130 for a pair of shoes,

should you really have to fork out

another $50 for arch supports to make them wearable?

 

I think I am heading to

Payless

and

the

Dr. Scholl's counter at the drug store.

 

I think I can just fix up cheap shoes!

 

(Do they still make Dexatrim? Maybe I could just skip all this  nonsense.)