Tuesday, December 2, 2014

A Christmas Tree, Lisinopril and a Buck

First of all, folks,
I have not had one of these days in awhile
so hang on.
I will try to be as brief as possible,
but really,
it was a good one.
Yesterday, last day of what would have been deer camp alone weekend
for me.
Now really, it has not been bad
other than
I have not finished what I wanted to this weekend,
but I had fun.
Two sleepovers with grandchildren
and time with JWS
a few projects completed
All in all a good weekend.
I got up, I made a list and I was going to salvage the weekend
and be productive.

I have my coffee and I mix up some antiquing and start.
It is 6:45.
Now at some point during the day we are to go and empty one of my
antique booths
and JWS has agreed to help.
(I really think he did so that I would not take his truck alone)
Hands stained, unshowered, I hear,
"I am ready, let's go!"
7:30 AM
25 miles from home
(I did shower first)
I realize I don't have my key to the shop.
A few quick texts and I get that crisis averted.

We empty a booth.

And overstuff a booth.
We leave and head to Walmart where I desperately need to purchase hair color.
As I put five boxes of products in my cart,
JWS comments,
"That is taking a lot more boxes than it used to take."
And the day started it's downward spiral.
As I check out in Walmart with the $97 worth of other products
that of course you have to get, my debit card fails.
I hand it to the, oh so not friendly employee and ask her to
put the numbers in and run it as a credit card.
I swear I saw her eyes roll,
but I am being entirely sympathetic to her plight.
I would not want to be a Walmart employee at this time of year.
One person in line behind me.
She promptly runs it again as a debit.
And it fails.
Two people in line behind me.
I kindly tell her to run it as a credit again
and she calls her manager.
Three people in line behind me.
I tell him to run it as a credit
and he explains that sometimes he has better luck with them
and promptly runs it as a debit.
(what did he think, his fingers had a better touch on the buttons
or that he had some aura that went into cyberspace?)
Four, impatient people in line behind me.
And, has no one noticed that JWS has left the store
I say, just please take this check.
He tries to run it as a credit card.
Five, tapping foot, looking disgusted people now behind me.
Oh wait, did I mention that in the process of the weekend,
I ran out of blood pressure meds? 
That is going to be needed information later in this story.
And finally,
he takes the check.
I call the bank from the parking lot to tell them all this.
You see, this is the second time this has happened
and the first time it did,
I called the main office and the girl told me that,
"we are really busy here and there is no one that has time to talk to you."
And now I have a headache.
In an effort to put all that behind me,
I mention to JWS that I am thinking of putting up a real tree this year.
That sends him on a whole sermon about what is like to live with me.

And he sends me this picture.
I am thinking maybe he is right....
and then as we leave
the restaurant
we stop suddenly in the parking lot and
with this view he says.
"I think I rode my pony Pearl right here when I was a child."
And I am a Freakshow?
(Actually, this shopping center is built on the farm he grew up on. )
Think all this is bizarre? 
It is now noon and things are about to make a real spiral.
On the way home,
JWS wonders when I am going to decorate the house...
Maybe it was the blood pressure
or the headache,
but that sort of set me off.
We get home,
rearrange the garage,
unload the truck,
JWS takes Jenn and the boys for a live tree
to pick up my BP meds
I head to the attic to get the tree out.
(I guess you can see that the live one was shot down)
Searching through 12 bins of Christmas stuff,
I can't find lights.
The tree is set up
and I still can't find lights
and then I remember,
last year, after the holiday, I took the lights off the pre-lit tree,
in a
Three Hours That I Will Never Get Back
event in my life.
Over the past few years all the white lights that I used to have
have gone away...who knows where?
just gone.
JWS comes back and there is no prescription for me at the pharmacy.
They don't have me in their system.
Twenty years I have been getting my meds there.
Twenty years.
And now the headache is really bad so I sneak upstairs and take one of
JWS' BP meds. 
Now here is where the timeline of the next three hours gets a little fuzzy.
In those three hours:
JWS does not like how the room is arranged.
We need to find a place for the popcorn machine that I thought was
leaving after Thanksgiving.
Where are we going to put that pew that sits at the back door?
That 1999, 200 pound television is a hazard.
(now after seven grandchildren he decides that)
JWS:I don't want that tree in front of the back door.
Me: Why not, we have three other doors in this house?
JWS:The tree can't be in front of the door,
Move some more furniture.
The pharmacy won't give me BP meds.
The doctor calls and won't refill my script.
(It was supposed to be for a year, last January because I only get one visit a year)
Someone screwed up.
Just give me one month and I will come back in January.
No, we will not.
I say a little too loudly in the phone.
Me:Put that tree in front of the door
JWS: No, that is a safety hazard.
Check with the pharmacy again and the script was never called in
from the doctor's office.
The doctor's office says they did.
I will be sorting all that out today.
Jenn is on our computer now ordering a new television
because really,
shouldn't putting up the tree require a new TV?
Me:Please just put that tree in front of the door.
JWS: Not that is a safety hazard
Buck in the yard,
Logan needing maple syrup.
Tyler through the house with no shirt,
JWS and Chris discussing how to get the 200 television out of the house
I am decorating the tree.

Right here and not in front of the door.
Bank calls,
unusual activity on your card.
Well, yes we just bought a tv.
And no, we don't buy a tv every day.

And the doctor's office calls back and they will give me two weeks of pills.
Since when did Lisinopril become a controlled substance?
I have an extra filled bottle of thyroid meds
I am thinking something got mixed up.
Really, really bad headache now.
TV is out,
bank is appeased,
tree is decorated,
last of the leftovers are heated,
we stand and look at the room
JWS says,
"I think that tree should go in front of the door!"

Sometimes you just have to let them think it is their idea.
And he moved it...completely decorated!


Crafts By Jodi said...

Ha ha ha. Thanks so much for the laugh this morning!! Plus you just let me know that craziness doesn't just happen here!

Melissa Wriglesworth said...

I feel your pain. It took me 3 hours to put twinkle lights on a small tree becauce when i put them on they would quit working. Six strands were brand new out of the box. So upsetting. What should have been a simple job took hours. Love your blog.