Caution Label

So, this happened at my house last night. 
(and no this is not my house in the picture)
JWS has to have a food processor,
because he needs to make hummus. 
I have not opened my Amazon statement for the month, 
but the signs are all there. 
It arrived on the front porch in an Amazon box
and days before he had asked for my Amazon password. 
You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out. 

go figure, 
it came out of the box and we just happened to have
the makings of hummus
in the pantry. 

So he makes hummus 
he is happy. 

Jumping forward a few hours, 
we are dozing in our chairs 
and I decide to go to bed. 
Since it is summer and I can't stand air conditioning
(or snoring, but that has nothing to do with summer)
I have a summer bedroom,
open windows, curtains blowing in the breeze, 
a nice ceiling fan, 
So, I am snuggled all down in 
reading on my kindle 
the riveting account of how someone installed
plywood flooring in their van
when I hear him. 
"I got cut...bad."
So I get up,
weighing the possibility of an ER Trip, 
yet knowing his tendency to overreact. 
I say that we have to take the paper towel off, 
he says he can't, 
that it is bleeding too much. 
I observe the single paper towel that is wrapped around 
his finger. 
I can't see any pulsing blood, 
it is not dripping,
it is not even red. 
We are good.
He opens the towel 
yes there is a cut. 

A cut worthy of dragging your almost
sleeping wife out of bed?
I don't think so. 

He says 
"What are we going to do?"
I explain that I don't have any band aids here
I have some gauze and we will put a piece 
on it and tape it. 
(way overkill for this injury, but thinking it will make him feel validated)
I say, 
"I have a pack of waterproof band-aids at camp 
I will get them in the morning."
(It is now 11:15 PM)
he says,
"I need a band-aid now"
So I walk to camp 
and get a band-aid
come back and put it on. 

So, now he is upset, 
How will he go to work?
How can he cook ?
How can he do anything with this cut? 

Ok, so I am not the 
Queen of Compassion. 
I get that.
I look at him. 
I say, 
"Do I have to remind you that I had
second degree burns on 
25% of my hands 
on Tuesday of the Fair 
last August and 
ran a kitchen for 15 hours a day for the rest of the week?"
And I went back to my 
van flooring tutorial. 

This morning 
JWS informed my that I am no longer permitted 
as his
next of kin
on anything medical
I am not to be within 
100 feet of any medical procedure he is having. 

Fine with me! 


Ann Thompson said…
LOL men are such babies
Robbie said…
I'm sorry...but I'm still laughing at this post!!! Way too funny....must be a man thing!!! Lots of us wives can relate!!!