Caution Label

 

So, this happened at my house last night. 

(and no this is not my house in the picture)

JWS has to have a food processor,

because he needs to make hummus. 

I have not opened my Amazon statement for the month, 

but the signs are all there. 

It arrived on the front porch in an Amazon box

and days before he had asked for my Amazon password. 

You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure this one out. 

And,

go figure, 

it came out of the box and we just happened to have

the makings of hummus

in the pantry. 

So he makes hummus 

and 

he is happy. 

Jumping forward a few hours, 

we are dozing in our chairs 

and I decide to go to bed. 

Since it is summer and I can't stand air conditioning

(or snoring, but that has nothing to do with summer)

I have a summer bedroom,

open windows, curtains blowing in the breeze, 

a nice ceiling fan, 

space.

So, I am snuggled all down in 

reading on my kindle 

the riveting account of how someone installed

plywood flooring in their van

when I hear him. 

"I got cut...bad."

So I get up,

weighing the possibility of an ER Trip, 

yet knowing his tendency to overreact. 

I say that we have to take the paper towel off, 

he says he can't, 

that it is bleeding too much. 

I observe the single paper towel that is wrapped around 

his finger. 

I can't see any pulsing blood, 

it is not dripping,

it is not even red. 

We are good.

He opens the towel 

and 

yes there is a cut. 

A cut worthy of dragging your almost

sleeping wife out of bed?

I don't think so. 

He says 

"What are we going to do?"

I explain that I don't have any band aids here

but, 

I have some gauze and we will put a piece 

on it and tape it. 

(way overkill for this injury, but thinking it will make him feel validated)

I say, 

"I have a pack of waterproof band-aids at camp 

and 

I will get them in the morning."

(It is now 11:15 PM)

"NOW"

he says,

"I need a band-aid now"

So I walk to camp 

and get a band-aid

and

come back and put it on. 

So, now he is upset, 

How will he go to work?

How can he cook ?

How can he do anything with this cut? 

Ok, so I am not the 

Queen of Compassion. 

I get that.

I look at him. 

I say, 

"Do I have to remind you that I had

second degree burns on 

25% of my hands 

on Tuesday of the Fair 

last August and 

ran a kitchen for 15 hours a day for the rest of the week?"

And I went back to my 

van flooring tutorial. 

This morning 

JWS informed my that I am no longer permitted 

as his

next of kin

on anything medical

and 

I am not to be within 

100 feet of any medical procedure he is having. 

Fine with me!