How Not To Paint A Door

The Three Month Saga..

After deciding that the doors needed painted,

and

deciding they needed to be red, 

I headed to the local hardware store,

over

three 

months

ago. 

Red,

picked the color from the chip

and the nice man there said that he did not like to mix reds. 

Okay.

"What do you suggest I do then?" 

I replied.

"Pick another color"

he countered,

"Perhaps green?"

"They are green now, I WANT them red."

the exchanged continues and I squint to make sure he is not

JWS' long lost brother. 

He finally explains that reds turn out pink and people are not happy with them.

and 

I say,

"I'll take my chances."

but then just in case...

"just give me a quart."

And that was the end of May,

and then it rained. 

For at least 40 days and 40 nights. 

And JWS liked that quart of red paint so much that he used it all up at the shop.

Then I went back and bought a gallon. 

And

It 

Rained 

More. 

And now here it was,

Labor Day Weekend

and

My Doors Are Not Painted. 

So Saturday, 

I leap into painting, 

Between raindrops. 

Three of the doors are under roof.

Coat one, dining room door, 

Coat one, front door,

Coat one side door. 

Coat two, dining room door, 

Side door, 

but not front door.

Two doors down, 

one more and I have a music group. 

And then the pic above happens. 

A tiny little speck,

and I pick it 

and that whole piece flies off the door

taking the green paint off that has been there ten years. 

I am blaming it on the rainforest conditions we have lived in all summer

So,

I mayday JWS

and 

we take the door off and I sand. 

And I paint. 

and 

sand

and 

paint

and 

sand

and 

nothing is drying. 

In the meantime, 

the other two doors are done

still on the hinges 

and they look nice. 

(I didn't even attempt the deck door...no roof!)

And this one sits

for two days. 

Know what that means, folks?

Yes,

we went to sleep with no front door on the house. 

Me,

I didn't give it a second thought. 

I would sleep on the front porch and be fine.

JWS?

He is a nervous wreck. 

Goes to bed with every light on in the house,

every TV blaring

and 

he is armed. 

Suppose he thought someone was going to steal his clown collection?

Finally, last night the door is rehung. 

I wasn't sure it was going to close.

There are four coats of paint 

and 

a coat of varnish.

And I finally abandoned the initial red paint

and 

mixed my own concoction of craft paints. 

Can't wait to see it outside

from the road

in 

daylight.